[Editor’s note – This was a piece I wrote several months back while trying to come to terms with many elements of my involvement with TRC, and anything related to sanguivory/vampirism as a whole. It has been published privately to admins and editors for that time, but the New Year seems like the apt time to release my thoughts publicly. Please note that this was not attempting to categorize sanguivores, but rather personal realization that I may have misrepresented myself.]
For some time, I have been in a period of quiet reflection and contemplation. Sometimes, it can take stepping back and pausing to be able to reflect on what has transpired prior, lest one get swept away in the tide.
I’ve been conducting a series of informal talks over the last several months (both online and offline), regarding The Red Cellar, what has come to be known as ‘med sangs’ and my past work. Additionally, as time goes on, the more we learn about ourselves. I believe it important to learn, and to grow.
I now feel that my prior approach was not always the best one. I do not believe that one should be segregated because of their personal identity. By doing so, resources get cut off to people who could very well need it. My goal has always been to provide content for sanguivores; practical, helpful knowledge and resources to those who may need it. In an effort to establish a safe space for scientifically-inclined sanguivores, I feel I became someone I am not. The battle for that space led to being swept up in the tide, without ever really pausing for air, and I lost my way. Compassion fatigue, personal stress and lack of self-care contributed towards what I now view as a negative environment. Vampirism will inherently always be tied to sanguivory in some way. It’s unavoidable. Further, I do not feel negative reactivity to anything vampire was making me happy. I don’t dislike vampires, vampire fiction, or vampire films. The cheesy stuff can make me uncomfortable, yeah, but still. I do not need to aggressively reject all of it for credibility.
People may identify as a vampire for many reasons, and self-identification as a vampire is not mutually exclusive with being a sanguivore on a physiological level. Nor does being a sanguivore on a physiological level mean that someone has to identify as a vampire for help and kinship. One is a biological reality; the other, personal identity. No one should be cut off from help because of their interests and how they choose to (or not to) identify. The Red Cellar was [intended to be] a support resource, not a platform for mockery. Accordingly, a number of articles have been removed. I am hopeful for a shift in content toward what I hoped the site would be to begin with. Support, by sanguivores, for sanguivores.
I have also come to realize that not every ‘med sang’ is the same. Medical sanguivores/sanguinarianism initially started as a term to differentiate between sanguinarians who identified as such for different reasons. ‘Med sang’ was for those who identified as sanguinarian, and believed that need to be based in the realm of science, and needing a physical component in blood. Usually, there were some similarities and overlap with reported symptoms. Over time however, I’ve come to see that despite similar needs (blood) and some overlap in symptoms, not every med sang is the same. Apples may look similar to pears on first glance, but are in fact quite different. What is true for the apple may not be so for the pear. Likewise, advice and support for one type may not be helpful, or could even be dangerous for another type. I view ‘med sang’ as an umbrella in the same vein as it was originally intended to be; a blood drinker who needs it for their health, and believe that to be a scientific, physical thing.
However, another focus of mine was on the ailments experienced by med sangs, and seldom reported any benefits. This may be true for some. Blood is a very nutritious substance and certainly could help with many health issues that could not have alternative treatment as of yet. Yet within the med sang umbrella, there are distinct patterns of groups with biological similarities with differences to others. I have made some speculations on whether there are different types of Sanguivores.
Sanguivore Type A may experience a number of major physical benefits, such as a very strong immune system (rarely getting sick or catching infectious diseases) and high muscle density. They may rely on regular blood ingestion in quantity to keep many aspects of their system functional, maintained and at optimal health. They also suffer severe detriments if deprived of blood. Sanguivore Type B also has a need for blood to remedy specific ailments, such as digestive problems. These may or may not be treated by medications or other treatment, and may become quite sick without blood. Blood allows health maintenance and controlling of symptoms. None is lesser than the other.
Going forward, I want to further uncross these wires, publish content relevant to sanguivores regardless of their personal identity or ‘type’, yet also specific to each ‘type’. Content for the apple and the pear, regardless of whether either are vampire-identified. I want to maintain neutrality and focus resources inward, not outward, and create meaningful and beneficial work for sanguivores. By sanguivores, for sanguivores. All else is not relevant. It is my hope this will make the support and information I can provide available to the most people.
Ex meis cineribus renascor.