Catchy title, right? If you’re anything like me, you’ll have read the two words and perhaps winced a little. It sounds like a teenage vampire fan’s edgy lip gloss. Not that there’s anything wrong with loving the crap outta vampire fiction. I support everyone to be authentically themselves and follow their passions.
It isn’t just the words that many sanguivores inherently wince at. I’ve noticed over many years that if there’s a brief hint of sexuality involved in blood drinking, there is an immediate and fierce resistance in most cases.
It’s easy to understand why. It, on the surface, immediately causes a loss of credibility. How can you drink it for health reasons if you get off on it? I was once one of those people. I recoiled instantly whenever sex and blood were used in the same sentence. Medical. Purely medical. Science. All that good stuff. Now, I’m not saying I drink blood for any reason beyond maintaining my health. When I partake regularly, I never get sick, have accelerated wound healing, among other things. If I don’t, over time, my immune system crashes and I end up in a bad place.
I’m lucky in that I’m in a relationship with another sanguivore. We are able to talk about this openly and ponder the many aspects of this subject. I’ve seen this with other sanguivores as well. Blood, to me, isn’t inherently erotic. Let’s be honest; it can smell, it can have a bad aftertaste, and it isn’t always very pleasant. I don’t know why anyone would take it if they don’t have to, but that doesn’t mean it can never be more than that.
To a sanguivore, blood is an important part of life. Many tumultuous emotions and situations can stir in our younger years even around the need itself. There will always be some challenges regardless of our experience level. We need it to avoid health collapse. We sometimes have to resort to tactics we don’t like just so we can be okay. In a lot of cases, it’s a deeply personal thing wrapped up in layers of different, sometimes painful emotions.
Now, let’s move on to the next point. Every sanguivore has an aspect of themselves which is inherently primal. The ‘beast’ (I hate that term) allows us to trigger our fight or flight mechanism, and we can appear almost rabid with significant bodily and mannerism changes. We descend to a primal state with basic needs; feeding and sex. In my experience, sanguivores tend to be close to asexual or they have a very healthy (sometimes overpowering) sex drive. Every sanguivore I’ve met who has that healthy sex drive has agreed that in that primal state, those two needs are intrinsically linked. Many sanguivores thus can be quite ‘primal’ in the sack if they choose to be. Some have shared with me that the only way they can climax is with letting out that primal self and sinking their teeth into their lover. The urge to hunt, feed and mate are intoxicating in that state.
“But I’m not a fetishist!”
Yeah, yeah. I know. Facebook posts get shared around, and there are always those who condescend the subjects in the article if they confess to any sexual gratification from blood drinking. More vampire than thou. It’s an instinctual defensive mechanism to protect both someone’s reputation and authenticity. The problem when we put ourselves into a box is that we become static, rigid, and it does not beget open-mindedness, tolerance and kindness. I’ve been guilty of that approach before; no benefits, strictly medical, doom and gloom. Sex is a big part of our lives. Open conversations around the subject deserve to be had.
People feel ashamed to talk about the subject and they shouldn’t be. “I’m not a fetishist” always ends up in there somewhere because we expect that immediately no one will take us seriously if we admit otherwise. Judgement of those experiences do more harm than good. On the contrary, inherent intimacy in blood drinking can easily be removed with the right equipment and a lot of sanguivores opt for that with non-partners.
Let’s face it, though. In a sanguivore/donor or sanguivore/sanguivore pairing, there is a level of trust, shared experience, intimacy. It is entirely natural that some would want to share that deeper element of themselves. It’s natural for sanguivores in that primal state to want to break their chains fully with one another. It is skin to skin, mouth to skin, teeth to skin, tongues on skin and exchange of bodily fluids whilst sharing some of the most vulnerable aspects of ourselves at times. It can be power or control. It can be loss of control. It can be surrender. It can be beautiful.
Whatever it is to you, remember that human desire is fluid and our sexuality can not be placed into rigid boxes. We would do well not to judge the experiences of others and instead cultivate openness, and safe practice of one’s deepest, darkest desires without shame.